I went to the house this afternoon to see the electrician, and found a car with its hazards flashing parked in front of my drive. I beeped a few times and the electrician came out and said 'I think it belongs to your neighbour,' gesturing to the house that belongs to Monsieur Toulemonde, the guy who wants my garden to be his garden. Funnily enough, M Toulemonde has his own garage and there's a great big space outside it...Why does he need to block my gate when he could block his own? Who knows. All I know is that I'm already pissed off, and late, and the obvious solution is to park my car in front of his garage. As I am doing so his front door opens and out comes a rather elegant little man who asks me not to park in front of his garage.

'Monsieur,' I say, 'is that your car parked in front of my driveway?'

'Ah. Yes'.

'Why?'

'I am expecting a van any minute to arrive and I needed to keep my driveway free'.

'You might have thought of that before. Now my car is there and I am not moving it, I'm late as it is'.

An old guy, his father in law it turns out, joins us.

'I'll move the car and then you can park in front of your own garage.'

I was feeling mean.

'No. I'm late. And if you don't want me to block your garage, then I suggest you don't block mine.' For good measure, I left the car there for two hours.